Saturday, February 7, 2009

Apologies from the dog

It was a pretty cold week so the dog spent more time inside than usual. As a result, he chased less squirrels and had more time to reflect on his recent behavior.

Riley has been thinking and has a few words he would like to share:

To our next-door-neighbor Bill, I apologize for trying to attack you each and every time you have pulled your Cadillac in or out of your driveway for the past two years. I also regret to inform you that I will never stop, as it is my duty to protect this back yard with my life.

To my best friend Oliver, who has been mysteriously limping ever since his last visit with us at Christmas, I apologize for whatever I did to injure your leg while we were playing. To your owners, I apologize for the vet bill and diagnosis of "growing pains."

To Kati and Stephen, I apologize for trying to eat your McDonald's fish sandwich right out of your hands last night. I am horrified at my behavior, and even more at the fact that I would consider a McDonald's fish sandwich to be edible.

To Karin, I apologize for the heart attack I gave you this morning when I started barking maniacally at the front door while you were trying to make breakfast.

To the Jehovah's Witnesses at the front door that caused the aforementioned barking, I apologize for the murderous look in my eyes and for any indications that I was going to eat you and your supply of Watchtower magazine.

To the landlord, who I sincerely hope does not read this blog, I apologize for the five-foot hole I dug in the backyard. I will have Dylan fill it in immediately.

If you look at my face, you will see just how sorrowful I really am. Please accept my statement of regret. I will do my best not to repeat any of these actions (until next week.)

Now excuse me, I am exhausted and need to take a nap before my afternoon yard-patrol shift begins. I apologize for the snoring that can be heard throughout the house.


Mr. Ri Ri


  1. My how he has grown during these years. Riley is just so mature now. I close my eyes one moment and he is an odd looking pup and I open them today and he is reflecting upon his actions.

    What growth for a young Carolina dog.

  2. Great post... it totally cracked me up. Sounds like your dog has an amazing personality - those are always the best dogs. And, you..lady... are a great writer! Keep it up!